Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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