If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
