ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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