I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
