fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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