btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
