dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
did i walk over a car last night?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
