the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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