Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
