he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
