I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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