Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
