Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
