i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I AM VODKA MAN
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
