Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
