just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm passing your future prison.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
