dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
