That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
