All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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