she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize