you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Did we literally take a cab across the street
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
