it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
