She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
