Kiss
Puke
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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