I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
