Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
