you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
3pm strippers are depressing
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
We don't watch enough power rangers
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
