he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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