found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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