Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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