Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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