Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
