if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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