i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
