I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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