Sponge bath it is.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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