there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
