Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
