apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
lol hangovers are for mortals.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
