look no pants
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
