I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
