Porn is love you can see.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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