let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
