honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
