Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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