You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
jump out the window naked night went bad
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