real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
