Porn is love you can see.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
