Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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