I wish I could teleport
Porn is love you can see.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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