I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Randomize
