waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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