Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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