it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He's a Shit stain on my heart
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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