Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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