This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Actions speak louder than pants.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
