Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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