Duck Duck Cougar?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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