You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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