Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
