and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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